"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." -Aldous Huxley

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wThursday, April 11, 2002

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!: From Christopher Moore's new book, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's childhood Pal. Biff attempts to sum up the message of Jesus, as he sees it, from the recorded preaching in the four Gospels:

You should be nice to people, even creeps.
And if you:

a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and)
b) he had come to save you from sin (and)
c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became like a little child, he would say) (and)
d) didn’t blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c),

then you would:

e) live forever
f) someplace nice
g) probably heaven.

However, if you:

h) sinned (and/or)
i) were a hypocrite (and/or)
j) valued things over people (and)
k) didn’t do a, b, c, and d,

then you were:

l) fucked.

posted by Jeremy at 1:26 PM