"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." -Aldous Huxley

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wTuesday, April 08, 2003

ONE LAST THING ON KELLY (FOR NOW): Several people have weighed in with nominations for their favorite Michael Kelly column. Here's mine:

I am an old man, and I sit on my porch watching the world go by. Watching the world go by became a major pastime again after the enactment in 2020 of the Communications Sweetness and Light Act, which built upon the Communications Decency Act of 1996, the Communications Wholesomeness Act of 2000 and the Communications Purity of Spirit Act of 2008, and which pretty much finished off what there was worth watching on the tube.

I smoke my pipe. Well, not "smoke" exactly, and not "pipe," really. It's shaped like a pipe, but it's made of solid recycled farm-raised maple. It has no bowl, no hollow stem. Real pipes have been illegal since the first year of the first Rodham administration. The pipes were the last of the regulated Nicotine Delivery Systems to be phased out; cigarettes of course were the first, banned by Surgeon General Brazelton in 2002, followed by cigars in 2005 and smokeless tobacco in 2006.

A lot of people still illicitly smoke, of course; and you can score snuff on any inner-city corner, and there are kits you can buy to convert a solid pipe into a fully hollow one. But since the passage of the "three puffs and you're out" bill, I haven't really wanted to take any chances with the law. [more]

posted by Jeremy at 4:05 PM